Finding My Way

Many times throughout our day, I have the thought that whatever is happening at the moment will be a good story - someday. In the midst of the chaos, I am usually able to step back for a moment and recognize the humor. There are also moments, days, weeks when I lose my perspective and I am utterly overwhelmed trying to nurture minds, bodies and souls while being the responsible adult (when did that happen???) caring for a geriatric dog who vomits and has accidents in the house at least twice a week -who was our baby for many years before the boys came along, managing the finances, the attempt to feed a family of 5 a nutritionally sound, local, seasonal diet (for more info check out the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle), manage (poorly) the never ending to do list of household maintenance projects, and work as a paid consultant (while everyone else is sleeping) on various environmental projects. I want to be mindful of my parenting, my attitude, my behavior but find myself distracted all too often. There's no real point to this post...just trying to find my way. Trying to find that elusive thing we call balance. In the meantime, we laugh a lot. And I guess that learning to take myself and my surroundings less seriously that I'm making progress...

Gratitude

Surprise, astonishment, a sense of wonder, is what spreads gratitude out into all the corners of a life.

Read this post at Holy Experience

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are
conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

beautiful day

We spent a beautiful day (weather was fall perfect!) at the Atlanta Botanical Garden. If you have not been, GO! It is one of our favorite places. We've been going regularly since before the boys could walk and now they are expert navigators. Everything we did yesterday was directed by them and what an adventure it was. Such wonder and imagination...we had a really great day.

The Best Laid Plans

It started with the clothes. By 18 months, H had very independent thoughts about what he would wear on a daily basis. Not a big deal really. I had never planned to dress the boys the same despite their being triplets. Every now and then we dressed them alike for a special occasion (Holiday, family photo, etc) but for the most part, I was fine with coordinating outfits (same style of clothing, different colors and/or patterns). At some point, H decided he really. really loved yellow and began to insist on wearing a pair of electric, blindingly yellow hand me down shorts with an equally visually offensive yellow shirt every day. Often with mismatched knee sock pulled up as high as possible. We were mostly amused by this show of style and didn't feel a need to interfere with his self expression. B and C soon followed with their own favorite clothing that they wore, literally, until the shirts started unraveling. For about a year now, the clothing of choice has been jerseys (football and basketball). The numbers have worn off and they are seriously "distressed" but they're still the clothing of choice most days. And this summer, "swimming shorts" and "diving suits" have been the daily wear, whether or not we are going to swim that day.

I'm not a big fan of Halloween. Kelly, my perpetually young at heart husband, loves it. So we began dressing the boys in costume when they were 9 months old. At first, it was just for pictures to share with friends and family and then came the inevitable trick or treating last year. I have to admit that despite my horror at the absolute crap that is distributed (and allowed to be consumed) on this day, I've had fun choosing themed costumes for the boys (and even Mom and Dad last year). As we approach October, I'd begun thinking of my next clever family theme when B announced that he wanted to be a Great Horned Owl for "costa-tune" (this is what he calls Halloween). I expressed my interest in his very specific choice and we talked about the birds of prey we'd seen at the Chattahoochee Nature Center recently but I felt certain that this choice would be forgotten once the trip to see the owls was not so fresh on his mind. Ah, but he is a smart one and has become determined that this is what he will be. In light of his revelation, C has decided that he too would like to be a bird "with wings and a beak and I want to take off my hands because I just want wings"...what? C, it seems, believes that if he is costumed like a bird, with wings and all, that he can really fly, because "that's what birds do". I fear he may give it a try if we put him in wings. H has decided to be a lion (wearing a costume he wore 2 years ago when we had a Wizard of Oz theme). Maybe I can be the zookeeper - oh wait, I already am!!!

First Halloween 2004

(H,C,B)

2005

2006

The Coach and his Team

(these are the infamous jerseys - chosen by the boys)

Lately, there's been a verbal boycott of fruit and vegetables (thankfully all are still eating better than the average toddler). C has proclaimed that he does not like fruit and he does not like vegetables and he is NOT GOING TO EAT THAT! (while continuing to eat us out of house and home). Never one to be outdone, B has decided that he too dislikes fruit and vegetables and is actually eating less of both. For a mommy who prides herself on premium nutrition, this is a tough one to be laid back about. I'm trying not to (over)react while continuing to offer only healthy choices for snack and meals. H learned a hard lesson a few nights ago when he chose not to eat what had been offered and realized he was "super, Super, SUPER HUNGRY" at bedtime. I empathized with his discomfort and assured him he would have another opportunity to eat in the morning when he could have as much breakfast as his little tummy could hold. He's eaten pretty well since then.

Tonight at the dinner table we had a discussion about what each of the boys thought he might like to do when he is a grown up (or as they say, "when I'm the Daddy..."). There were some very funny revelations. H would like to have four kids, "but they all have their own bed and I have a big one for me"...this sounds a lot like the talk we have every night about everyone sleeping in their own beds, hmm. I had no idea he was actually listening since most morning I awake to little bodies smashed into any and every available space in my bed. B would not like to have any kids but wants to sleep in the big bed with "just me and Mommy" when he's "the Daddy"...not sure his wife will be too happy about that one. And C just wants to snowboard, wakeboard, ski and ride a dirt bike. Not altogether shocking considering his extreme and fearless personality. A few more things they'll do when they're Daddies:

• drive the car (not H though, he is just "going to sit in the seat next to someone" - a driver perhaps??)
• come back downstairs after everyone else goes to bed
• go to work in a big office
• go to Colorado (B is infatuated with the idea of the big, snow covered mountains...we've been talking about states a lot this week while assembling a giant puzzle of the US)

I'm sure there was more but a few hours later, it's becoming a blur. This post originally started as a look at the boys' growing independence and their exercising autonomy but I realize it's diverted and is not very cohesive. I feel like much of the last 4 years is a blur. We are moving at warp speed and there's little time to slow down and catch my breath or reflect. I am a terrible journaler (read: I do not do it) though I have tried to get started many times. I'd hoped this blog would serve as a journal but I find that most days, by the time I can actually think about what has transpired and mull it over a bit, I'm completely exhausted. I am also a little bit (okay, a lot) uneasy about sharing my innermost thoughts with the entire World Wide Web. I am drawn to mothering blogs by women who are brutally honest, sharing their vulnerability, their hopes, their selves. I am not sure I am that brave or that honest. For the sake of my boys, I will try. I will try to transcribe our lives so that this beautiful history is not lost. It may not make much sense to anyone else as I record our present and our past in a hodge podge of random posts, but it will be something. And I am grateful for that. I am grateful for this crazy life...

When one is grateful for every little thing, one realizes that
nothing is a little thing. Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.

~Estonian Proverb

(I took this quote from a post about Gratitude on another blog. I love the profound simplicity).

Okay, I have been trying to format this for too long. Apologies if it is not laid out as it should be on the screen...I am a technological illiterate!!

Silly Boys

Okay, those are underwear on
our chandelier in the 2 story foyer...

The little nudists get dressed for

dinner (we have a "butt must be covered" rule for eating)

Yes, you are cute

Hilton Head Slideshow

Wonder and Joy

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.

-Rachel Carson

Beach Babes

Shifting Attitude

There are several blogs about mothering that I visit with frequency. Two that I read every day as they have touched me beyond entertainment. Jennifer also has triplets and has an inspiring and positive way of reflecting on the challenges and joys of this crazy life. Ann is the wife of a farmer, raising six kids and she is a beautiful writer looking, listening, longing for God...in the hallowed experiences of a very ordinary life. This post from Ann has been on my heart since I first read it and has really been a kind of mantra for me this past week. Moving from I have to... to I GET to. What a privilege it is that I GET to mother these little boys, make a life with this man I love. I'm out of time this morning (I GET to wake the boys for school now) so I will post more about how I have been moved to action later. In the meantime, here's the post from Ann:

How to receive the opulent gift of today....

"I GET to?!" Me? Really?

Yes, I too shake my head trying to make sense of why I am allowed to...I GET to grind the wheat, make the bread, and spread the day’s nourishment out on that farm table to fuel little tummies, to keeps arms and feet dancing, eyes sparkling…. I GET to offer sun-dried clothing to cover lengthening torsos, stretching limbs…… I
GET to be asked what is the substance of fire, how putting gas in the van
actually makes the van keep moving, and how does a country keep printing
money….. I GET to place soft bum cheeks in spotless white diapers….. I GET to
read slices of Swiss Family Robinson, Winnie the Pooh, Much Ado about Nothing,
Rudyard Kipling, Richard Scarry, and the Trial of Socrates….and that’s just this
afternoon.

I GET to do this!!! How did I end up here? By His grace. All of
grace.

It comes in the mail, those flashy invitations to limitless
possibilities with just a plastic square of silver, platinum or gold. And the
words: You have just been approved.

Well, those “You have just been approved”
exclamatory greetings pale into sickly invisibility when compared to what God
has approved---allowed---every day this heart surges: to LIVE!

Today I will try whispering it in wonder ---and begin to feel the rustle of kid-like glee and giddiness:

I GET TO DO THIS!

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Lord, forgive me for every "I have to..." I have ever grumbled and dragged my feet and heart through....Let be dance with delight that I GET to live the life You approved, allowed, bestowed! All's Your grace. So please, Lord, grant the grace to praise, too.

Sweet Dreams

I watch the boys sleeping and I am in awe of the beauty before me, the blessing to have these sweet boys here with me. There is no way to explain the hole in your heart when you must leave the hospital without your babies. Born at 31 weeks, each of the boys had varying degrees of medical complications due to their prematurity. They spent 6 weeks in the NICU where I visited with them everyday. At first, they were all in different places (the hospital where they were born has multiple NICUs and nurseries). Visiting times were strictly enforced to limit disruption to the babies schedules and care. I would rush from one to the next, trying to have time with each of my babies before the allotted time was up. I would sing to them a song that they still love today (and the only one they will tolerate me singing now). They know it is their special "baby song" and ask me to sing it to them often while holding them like a baby...

Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

Dixie Chicks

Dragon tales and the "water is wide"

Pirate's sail and lost boys fly

Fish bite moonbeams every night

And I love you

Godspeed, little man

Sweet dreams, little man

Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings

Godspeed

Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out

Superman's in pajamas on the couch

Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse

And I love you

Godspeed, little man

Sweet dreams, little man

Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings

Godspeed

Sweet dreams

God bless Mommy and match box cars

God bless Dad and thanks for the stars

God hears "Amen," wherever we are

And I love you

Godspeed, little man

Sweet dreams, little man

Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings

Godspeed

Godspeed

Godspeed

Sweet dreams